Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
