I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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