So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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