I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
