oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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