i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
