sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
