Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
