Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
