So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize