No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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