Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
