Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
