names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
