Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
