If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
