He kissed a someone with a penis
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have post one night stand depression
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