found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
