mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
