May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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