you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My dick has a subreddit
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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