she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
