Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
