You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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