she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
