I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
