We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
