you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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