Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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