I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
