Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
