So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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