im drinking this country out of the recession.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
