all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
