I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
