wakey wakey hands off snakey
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
