So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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