how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
