He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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