I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
