did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
