Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
