I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
