There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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