and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
