i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
