oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How does one acquire holy water?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
