Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
