There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
