smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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